FIND OUT IF YOU ARE HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR?

Are you having an affair?

If anybody asks you this question, you may go angry or leave, because it sounds insulting. Why, because you are never the type of person that would have an affair outside your relationship/marriage. Well, that is because you think having an affair or cheating your partner is restricted to sex alone. 

Having an affair is beyond having sex with someone who is not your partner. Do you know this?

Come with me by reading the write up below.

Emotional affair does not involve sex. It happens to people who are in courtship or engaged or married, but very fond of somebody else who is not their spouse and if care is not taken, can lead to a full blown sexual affair.
Emotional affair does not only happen to people in bad, unhappy marriages. It can happen to happy couples, morally sound people and deeply spiritual individuals who love God with all their hearts and hate sin. It can even happen to great men and women of God. How, then, do they fall into an emotional affair?
Emotional affair is not easy to detect at the beginning. It all starts as plain, platonic friendship with the opposite sex whom you exchange ideas with and find admirable that's all. The friend can be a colleague at work, a fellow worker at church, a course mate, the secretary to the boss at the office or the next door neighbour. They are someone you find attractive and enjoy talking to. If you treat them like you treat any normal friends without any strings attatched, then, there is no problem. But if you are SECRETLY fond of them, there is a BIG problem.
Emotional affair starts rearing its ugly head if you are always eager to see them, anxious to hear from them and you feel sad if a day passes without getting in touch with them.
It escalates when you begin sharing deep personal issues, especially relational or marital problems and you find their words very soothing. It's like Valium, you can't sleep without it.
It progresses when there are subtle flirty compliments (e.g. "Each time I see you, I always feel like hugging you and staying there forever" or "Can I give you a peck please?"), sweet name calling and you never do anything to stop them, infact, you love it and always look forward to hearing more from them.
You idolize them while comparing them with your spouse who always falls short. You see them as your comforter, healer and the only one who UNDERSTANDS you.
You begin to keep your conversations with them a secret from your spouse and deny every accusation of having any affair with them (since you are not having sex).
You have chemistry for them and are always sexually charged when thinking about them or talking to them. Now, PULL A BREAK!!!
You are treading on a very dangerous path while consoling yourself that you are not having sex. Most people, especially good people, do not plan to cheat or commit adultery, it "just" happens when all red flags are ignored.
Face the fact that your relationship or marriage is sick that is why you are attracted to someone else and fix the problem. If you do not deal with your relationship or marital issues, you will keep pursuing them and end up sleeping with them and that is the beginning of the end of your relationship or marriage.
Pull back from that person and avoid discussing anything personal with them.
Come clean to your spouse and let them know you are getting attracted to someone else and you need their help. (You don't need to give them the full detail of your attraction).
Stop all chats, be very polite with their calls or ignore their calls altogether if you get tempted to go back.
Understand why you fell into emotional affair and take precautions lest you fall into another one.
Know that you are human and it is very possible to feel attracted towards the opposite sex, just don't pursue your object of attraction.
Set boundaries. Do not entertain ungodly relationships.
Have a full understanding of emotional affair and protect your heart from being tempted.
Emotional affair is also possible between people of the same sex (Gays/Lesbian). They get attracted to friends of same sex and share emotions with them like they have never shares with their spouse at home. People hardly notice that they indulge in emotional affair because they are of the same gender.

It is risky to assume that you are in control, because having emotional affair with someone other than your spouse, can lead to uncontrolled adultery that you will find very difficult to stop, until you are caught by your spouse. 

Remember the bible says: "Let he that thinketh he standeth, take heed, lest he fall." Take charge of your life and quit indulging in emotional affair, to avoid making yourself vulnerable

Written By:
Sis. Amaka Mary & Bro. Onyemaechi Chibuogwu Jude

Published & Edited by :
Bro. Aligwekwe Nnamdi